A good book makes you want to live in the story. A great book gives you no choice." If you’ve been writing for any decent amount of time, you’ve heard the phrase, “Show, don’t tell”. It’s the “Wash your hands before returning to work” of the writer’s world. Everyone knows it, but not everyone follows it. Sometimes, it’s not the fault of the author, either. Sometimes, like myself a few years ago, you simply have no idea what it means.
A lot of authors use sight to describe a scene. A character’s cropped, red hair, for example, or a pair of shiny, black shoes. This is all fantastic, I can see the hair and shoes in front of me, but to immerse your reader into your world you’ll have to take it a step further. What does that hair smell like? Is it soft or course? Are the shoes comfortable? How? Take into consideration all five senses when describing a scene. Smell, sight, taste, touch, and hearing. Doing this will turn the 2-dimensional room you’ve painted into a reality your readers won’t be able to leave. “A good book makes you want to live in the story. A great book gives you no choice.” -Anonymous Using all five senses is the key to wrapping up your readers in your world. This applies to non-fiction writers as well. You keep your audience engaged when you suck them in one sense at a time. CASE STUDY: Sample 1 - Joan walked into the dorm. One of the students flipped a pancake on the griddle in the kitchen. She grimaced at the old, 60’s style green carpet beneath her and contrasting orange drapes. “Welcome to University High!” said a girl with pink highlights. Sample 2 - Joan walked into the room and the scent of pancakes washed over her. Her mouth began to water as she remembered that she hadn’t eaten yet. At least one of her roommates knew how to cook. The warmth of the morning sun already seeped into the dorm through dull, orange drapes, reflecting against carpet the color of forest mold. “Welcome to University High!” Joan jumped. The voice sounded like a stereotypical cheerleader in a bad high school movie. Those pink highlights didn’t help her image at all, either. Information gleaned from Sample 1:
Big difference, right? Of course, I added a few thoughts and opinions from the main character as well, but that’s a subject for another day. Again, Sample 1 isn’t bad. You can still have a decent story by using sight alone. It’s a powerful tool. If you want to have your story grip your reader, however, forbidding them to leave until the story is over, use all of those senses. SO your challenge this week. Stand in a busy part of your house or a park or a setting of your choosing. Close your eyes or keep them on your computer screen or whatever writing utensil you choose. Write the experience WITHOUT referencing what you see. What do you hear? What do you taste? What do you smell? What do you feel? Don’t just list it out, either. Blend it together. Mold it. Craft it. Forge it. Comment with your results below.
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